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Funkmaster Flex interview Nicki Minaj regarding Hot 97 Summer Jam

Nicki Minaj and the Young Moneycrew had gotten in an all-out feud with a NY DJ on Sunday night.

After DJ Peter Rosenberg dissed Nicki’s song, Starships, Lil Wayne decided to pull all of his artists from the Hot 97 Summer Jam!

Then, rapper and radio host Funkmaster Flex got in the middle of things and had Nicki call into his radio show…where he proceeded to rant and blast Minajesty’s career!

Take a listen to the heated convo and Nicki sticking up for Starships

“I thank god everyday for my life, and you would too!” This is the tagline of the woman I will be mercilessly making fun of throughout this post. She makes it way too easy. Alexis’ twins are turning 4, and she has this clever idea of calling it the ‘Puppy/Princess’, pardon  – ‘Princess/Puppy Party’. Bet you’ll never guess why she named it that?? Anyone?? Time’s up! Get this – her twins really love princesses, and the second part is because they really love puppies! I mean you just don’t get such an awesome play on words like that everyday, you know? How she handles those intense news segments on Fox, designs her pageant dresses AND throws these parties is beyond me. It must be great to be the queen of her castle. So in preparation for the festivities, she appropriately gets a spray tan to begin phase one of looking ‘fabulous’. More on her later in the broadcast, now back to Slade in ‘dude can’t take a hint and back off’ land…

 

…Slade is engagement ring shopping for Gretchen, and oddly enough has Heather as his accomplice. He had her get information from Gretchen last night, and they find that Gretchen really fancies canary yellow diamonds. They’re at some fancy private jeweler, which he KNOWS he can’t afford (yet another hint that maybe this just isn’t the right thing to do), and has the balls to ask if they can use an imitation stone in the ring until he can save enough money for a real stone. I’m thinking she likes that yellow diamond, maybe he can just get a really bad diamond? That way it has colors in it already, you know? Heather looks like she is about to whip out a gun and shoot him point blank for even thinking ‘imitation’, and suggests he gets a band instead. He then makes an odd joke about robbing a bank, which now has the employee of the store looking like they want to shoot him, while Heather lets out a nervously ashamed laugh and hurries him out of the store. W.O.W.

Heather then invites Gretchen over to talk about everything. And by everything, I mean Slade. Gretchen basically says the same thing as she said to Tamra in the last episode; she’s scared of Slade’s financial situation, she’s been through a tough divorce before, and she generally doesn’t want to get married again. So I’m left wondering about their other conversation, the one where Gretchen supposedly admitted to wanting a canary yellow diamond. If she spills this much about her opposition to marriage just by bringing up the word ‘marriage’, how did Heather ask her about engagement rings? Maybe I’m looking too much into it, taking the ‘reality’ part of ‘reality tv’ too literally.

 

Random moment – Tamra shows up at Heather’s husband’s surgery center to get the skin on her finger removed where Simon’s name is tattooed. However, the appointment takes a lot longer than it should, since Tamra can’t seem to stay out of the bathroom. She shamelessly admits to everyone that she has ‘nervous diarrhea’ and runs back and forth about 3 times before she settles down enough for the 10 minute procedure.  She does, however, assure the dr that she didn’t use the hand he’s cutting to touch anything. I wonder if she’s that sexy when she’s with Eddie.

 

And now back to Casa Alexis for an update on the Princess Puppy gala! Supermom has gone all out, hiring princesses (girls in random pink gowns and tiaras) and puppies (who end up pissing on her floor, haha). All the kids are dressed like Snow White or Cinderella, and there’s even some dude dressed as a butler handing out snacks. Yeah, Alexis has gone all out, indeed. I don’t know why she chose 4 as the age where they get the grand ball, but she says they probably won’t have another party like it until their sweet sixteen. I wonder what the theme of that one will be…Abortions and Alienation? Only time will tell.

One of the best moments of the episode, hell, of the season thus far is Alexis’ speech before her kid’s ‘grand entrance’. Mind you, she’s talking to a room full of 3-4 year old kids and their parents, plus some puppies and the hired princesses. She begins by thanking everyone for coming, and blaming all the kids for the lack of formality. She had to know this wasn’t going to be quite as elegant as the ‘We can’t read so we started a wine club’ party from last week, right? I’m sorry, back to the speech. She then goes into the details of the twins’ birth. The fact that they were born at 34 weeks and almost killed her, how she had clots in her lungs that weren’t responding to blood thinners, was admitted for 5 days and that she was on demerol and morphine – and THAT’S what this day is all about. Can this woman give a speech or what?! Just when you think you’re watching a celebration of her twin girls turning 4 and getting this party full of puppies and princesses, Alexis makes sure all the trouble their birth caused her is not forgotten.She’s such a strong warrior! And she is now officially in the running against Tamra for TMI Queen.

Next up they announce a ‘Royal Puppy Princess Parade’, but I see no signs of a parade. I’m officially confused. Basically the kids go outside where all the puppies are in cages, and Alexis yells out to the kids that all those puppies need a home, so start bugging your parents. Can someone point out how this is a parade??  Is it maybe an Orange County parade? I know different places do things differently. After that, they have rides in a Cinderella style carriage and cake. I feel like by not being there, I have definitely missed the event of the decade, and I’ll never forgive myself.

 

Well, I don’t know why I’m even bothering reviewing rest of the episode, since nothing else can compare to that event, but I’ll continue. Tamra and Eddie are out at dinner, which is no surprise since Tamra was dealing with explosive diarrhea all day, I bet she’s starving. Within minutes, she’s ugly crying about their future. She’s upset because they are at the point in the relationship where Eddie wants to spend more time with her kids so they can be a step closer to getting married. Wait – what’s so sad about that? I thought it was generally a good thing when a man not only accepts, but wants to meet the children of the woman hes dating? She says she’s scared that the kids are gonna ruin it for her, and he shouldn’t want to take on all that responsibility. She then goes into how she’s 5 years older than him (but looks about 10 years older), with kids, and isn’t the typical ‘exotic’ beauty he usually dates. He pretty much tells her that if he can’t deal with the reality of the kids, whatever – that’s life – and they will break up and get over it. Then HE starts whining about her having Simon’s name tattooed on her, so she reveals her freshly scarred finger, sans the tattoo. He declares that he got boner from seeing it. I mean really. These 2 are made for each other. Until the day she comes home with “Eddie” tattooed somewhere on her…

 

Looks like we’re gonna end things on Briana and Vicki once again. Vicki shows up to Briana’s house looking a hot mess, wanting to talk. Briana makes the point that Vicki has been married since age 19 and doesn’t know who she is as a single woman, and therefore has latched on to the first man that gave her attention. Vicki’s argument? “That’s a valid point. I don’t agree with what you did with Ryan.” (that’s his name! and yeah, I notice I’ve been spelling Briana wrong. sue me.) Um, OK. She kinda admitted fault, but immediately threw the heat back on Briana. She’s just about as smooth as her man Plural Name. She then tries to defend the fact that she’s still married to Don because Don wants spousal support, and that she ‘likes and loves’ Plural Name.

After that, she claims Ryan was still married when he and Briana started talking, citing ‘the internet’ as her source of facts. This, to my joy, sets Briana off! Her exact words? “That was the f*cking internet! You want me to go off on the internet with Brooks? With all the sh*t that’s out there on him? DUI’s, not taking care of his 4 kids by 3 different women…” I’m enjoying this ENTIRELY too much! Vicki is by far the most judge mental woman on this show, so whenever someone finally calls her out on her crap, I get all warm and fuzzy inside. Vicki gets extremely defensive as she always does when confronted and pulls the ‘I’m the mom, so deal with it’ card. Briana isn’t backing down though, and I’m loving her more and more! She even goes so far as to say Vicki was emotionally cheating on Don with PN for a long time, and that she has completely changed. Vicki gets in her face screaming, “I HAVEN’T CHANGED, FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I’M HAPPY!” Uh, happy people usually don’t say they’re happy by screaming it vehemently into their daughters face.

She then says nothing matters unless her kids and her are close, to which Briana replies, “Except your boyfriend”…my goodness! I am LOVING this! Alexis, I revoke my statement about your horrid birth -I mean – your puppy princess party being the best part of the episode. I have been waiting 23 years for someone to finally put Vicki in her place, and never imagined that her own daughter would be the one to do it! OK, maybe 23 years is a slight exaggeration, but Vicki and Tamra have aged 23 years over the seasons, so its not that far-fetched. The conversation ends with Briana saying Vicki will have separate lives – one with the kids and one with PN, and that she has serious concerns about PN, which she previously mentioned. Vicki, needing to have the last word no matter how stupid, says “I have my concerns too, about Ryan.”, and when Briana asks what those concerns might be, Vicki walks out the door saying, “I guess I’ll tell you separately. I love you. Bye”. Haha, idiot. You know she’s gonna run home, Google Ryan and make a power point presentation about all the negative things she finds.

 

I love how the last 7 minutes had more substance than the first 50 minutes of the show. I’m so very proud of Briana and hope she’s not the one to break down and reach out first! Is that mean? You think I’m mean?? I’M NOT MEAN, FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I’M HAPPY!! And I’m actually excited for the next episode. :)

 

 

 

 

 

So I’m finally catching up on the Real Housewives of the OC. The episode I’m reviewing now is from a couple weeks ago, so if you saw it back then, enjoy this trip down memory lane!

 

We’re in the aftermath of Breanna telling Vicki that she ran off and eloped in Vegas with some dude I’ve never heard of, but whom she’s been dating for 2 1/2 years. She actually pulled off my dream wedding – a spontaneous trip thru a drive-thru window. So jealous! But Vicki doesn’t seem to share my sentiment. She actually says “It’s completely disrespectful when you’re a daughter of, parents, your responsibility is to at least have those parents know who you’re marrying. It’s rude, it’s disrespectful, and it’s wrong.” OK help me out with this one – ‘WHEN’ you’re the daughter of parents?? So I guess when you’re a daughter that hasn’t come from parents, it’s OK to elope? Or do daughters have to wait until they lose both of their parents to make adult decisions? I always thought if a daughter elopes, her parents should be happy that they don’t have to waste money on her wedding. I dunno. She does realize that she has to make peace with the marriage though, as she does understand that Breanna will (most likely happily) cut Vicki out of her life. So Vicki decides to use an upcoming party to announce the wedding to everyone – aka the rest of the cast of the show – and to force both Breanna and Michael to meet her boyfriend, Mr. Plural Name. More on this glorious moment in television later.

 

I bet Slade would be jealous of the ease in which Breanna and her dude (Um, no, I don’t remember his name, mostly because they don’t display it on the screen whenever his scenes come up like they do for the ladies) tied the knot, because this poor guy is STILL on this “I wanna propose to Gretchen” kick. He circled this issue in the last season, and a little bit a few episodes ago, and hasn’t found anyone willing to agree that this is the right decision for him. I know he desperately wants to ensure his permanent status as a husband on the show, and has dated his fair share of the cast trying to get there, but he needs to simmer down. He’s got debts he needs to clear up, and I’m thinking that being Gretchen’s bitch doesn’t pay enough to do that. Gretchen is obviously scared to marry him, with the knowledge she will assume half of his debt and lose her precious makeup and handbag fortune (does she specifically sell stuff out of the OC and/or Bravotv.com? I haven’t seen any Gretchen Christine products, well, anywhere). Who knows if he’s gonna listen…well, I guess if you have been watching, you probably know. Don’t spoil it for me, dammit. I’ll get there.

Tamra is hardly worth mentioning (which is true most of the time). She’s basically providing emotional support to Vicki and Gretchen throughout the episode. She does mention wanting to start a gym – pardon me – not a gym, but a building where people go to work out, and she is the other half of this party we are about to get into. Something about her and Vicki starting a wine club…? I guess it’s like a book club for people who can’t read, so instead of books, they drink and review wine. She’s also asking Heather’s husband about removing her ‘Simon’ tattoo from her finger, as her divorce is final. I mean really, did she not know the rule? That as soon as you tattoo your spouse/significant other’s name on your body you WILL break up? It’s like, the law.

 

Let’s get to the good stuff – the fiesta. Yet another party that would never be happening in real life due to the fact that the majority of these women can’t stand each other, but that’s exactly what makes it good TV. Vicki and Tamra think it would be ‘fun’ to have everyone dress in formal attire as if they are attending the Oscars instead of the ‘We can’t read so let’s review wine” party. As the room fills, it’s starting to look like a prom for elderly folks, pretty similar to how the senior prom of Beverly Hills 90210 looked back in the day.

As soon as Micheal shows up, Vicki introduces him to Plural Name, and awkwardly sends them off together to become BFF’s. One of the first things out of PN’s (short for Plural Name for those who didn’t catch on) mouth when they are alone is, “Nice to meet you. We’ve got a lot in common…” Really?! When does that statement ever follow ‘nice to meet you’? Sure, you may hear things about a person and say “I’ve heard a lot about you” or “From what I’ve heard of you, we may have some similarities”, but don’t just assume you two are meant to be. Maybe I’m over reacting a bit, but PN is pretty creepy, so it’s not just WHAT he says, but HOW he says it that makes my skin crawl. He then spits some stuff about how Michael protects his mom and thanks him for it, and then tries to lead that into a conversation about Breanna’s elopement. Sooo not smooth. Michael immediately becomes more uncomfortable than he already was, and ends their fabulous meeting. Ha. PN doesn’t let it faze him and puts his poker/creepy gold digger face back on and re-enters the party.

OK – another wench not worth mentioning pops up; Alexis. The party is legit more than halfway over at this point, and she’s just getting there. She makes this comment that she’s not late, but rather ‘fashionably on time’. All I have to say is Alexis – you’re really just fashionably stupid. Ugh.

Breanna and her dude are then shown on their way to the party. Breanna is understandably dreading her arrival, because she definitely doesn’t want to meet PN. She mentions that he drives her mom’s car, has 4 kinds in another state but is constantly in California, etc. It reminded me of a conversation Vicki was having with PN over lunch one day where he (in his creepy, non-smooth manner) asks who gets what in the divorce with Don. Vicki doesn’t even pause to think that it may be an inappropriate question, and tells him they each get to keep their huge retirement accounts, and PN’s eyes momentarily get wide with excitement. Maybe Vicki should stop being so concerned with her ‘love tank’ and make sure she keeps an eye on her damn bank account.

So anyway, they get to the party, and Vicki makes this grand speech with tears in her eyes about her kids being her life, and Breanna breaking this news to her that changes all of their lives forever. This probably isn’t the best approach, as we know Breanna recently had a pretty serious health scare and I’m sure the people that didn’t know were fearing the worst. But alas, the marriage is revealed, and everyone squeaks and squeals over the ring and the husband for a few minutes. Then Vicki wants to announce her own surprise, to which Breanna says “don’t tell me you’re engaged”, (don’t think that she’s not gonna hold onto that comment for eternity, Breanna!). But it’s Vicki’s brother, and there are a few more moment of squealing and squeaking, but it’s good to see Breanna happy. It’s so weird how I actually like Breanna, and how sane she is considering, you know, her crazy ass mother.

There’s a few filler moments, then PN  is at it again – cornering Vicki and Tamra and telling them how much he loves their sons. We are talking about boys he JUST met at this party, and is babbling on and on about how amazing they are and how they have such amazing attributes. Tamra notices the ick factor, probably because she is now scared for her son’s safety (as anyone should be), and I’m thinking that Vicki either has to be SO desperate for love that she overlooks the weirdness of it all, or she’s just that stupid. I can’t wait until they play these moments back at the reunion for everyone to laugh at…

 

So in closing, we have Vicki forcing Breanna and her husband to sit in a room alone and talk to PN. Breanna is obviously hesitant, and even begins to get emotional in anticipation. When you think about it, she’s still dealing with her mom and Don divorcing (BTW – Don was so awesome! He put up with Vicki’s b.s., he adopted Breanna and Michael, and was pretty good comic relief in Vicki’s consistently dreadful scenes) and this new creepy guy that no one, including Vicki, seem to know anything about, on top of all her stuff going on. But Vicki won’t let up. PN doesn’t disappoint, going on about how he’s been praying for her, he feels like he knows her already, and how 2 midwestern women came to California to meet two southern men. WTF. Vicki then jumps in talking about how they’re all in love, to which Breanna mentions (under her breath) how different it is. This of course angers Vicki, and sets off this intense stare-down which ends the episode.

 

Sigh. Part of me is really happy that Vicki is being such a dumbass when it comes to PN. She harped on Gretchen for dating Slade with his child support issues, but has no opposition to PN, who formerly went to jail because of his own child support issues, AND is spending 90% of his time in California with her instead of home with his 4 kids. Plus he doesn’t seem to work, unless you consider googling creepy pick up lines ‘work’ – which it may just be, since she seems to be paying his way. Oh, did you notice that’s another thing she talks about Slade for? Not working and living off Gretchen? Yeah…I think I need to actually get on Twitter the night of the reunion so Andy Cohen can bring my comments directly to her… :)

 

Next week we have Alexis’ – I mean – Alexis’ daughter’s birthday party. I might actually lose the few IQ points I do have listening to her…

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwvPPUMJ9-8%5D

This is awesome and bone chilling at the same time. To close this years Coachella Dr. Dre had a hologram performance with the one & only Tupac 15 years after his untimely death.
Imagine all the non-sober people’s reaction when his image appeared. Tripping Balls, I’m sure!!

So again, I find myself behind on my DVR and unfortunately really behind on the blog so we’re gonna play a game of catch up. The good thing is that I’m finding out all of these episodes of the Real Housewives of the OC are the same – a bunch of plastic women with wigs attempting to re-live high school and fight with each other for no real reason. It always starts with the new one (and the only one with real money) Heather, inviting everyone to some random shin dig. First it was painting and alcohol, then that 80’s thing, with alcohol and now bowling, with bottled water. No, kidding. With alcohol. Since we all know that these girls end up fighting every time (just like Bravo planned), I’m gonna comment on the girl’ individual antics. If you notice one of the wenches isn’t mentioned, that jut means she’s boring.

 

 

I simply must start with Alexis. This wench gets a nose job and acts as though she’s getting a hysterectomy and a double masectomy. I mean they had a prayer circle going on, she’s thinking she’s not gonna wake up from anesthesia, blah blah blah. She cries in the doctors office for the consult and is damn near inconsolable the day of. Her husband is looking at her like she’s even more dumb than he remembers, but still trying to calm her down. Honestly? I think she was more concerned with the cameras seeing her without makeup than anything else. Of course she hires a nurse to be at her house for recovery because goodness forbid her husband do anything, but she mostly just sleeps it off with frozen peas on her face. The best part is she gets mad at Gretchen for not immediately showing up to her house after the surgery. I don’t know what the point of that would have been…was Gretchen supposed to come tell her how good she looked? Because that would have been a lie. Or was she supposed to do stuff for her? Because I’m pretty sure I just mentioned the nurse Alexis had. Idiot.

 

I’m still not sure if she’s playing up a character for the cameras or if she is really SO delusional that she thinks she’s this amazingly smart working mom. I mean really, WTF is this gig she’s doing with Fox news?? I know they aren’t the greatest source of information unless you think a certain way, but after seeing the first ‘story’ she did about the shape of butts, I was surprised she was invited back. In her mind she’s such a natural, and she’s so great on camera, yet every other word out of her plastic lips is ‘uh’, or ‘what?’ or mispronouncing some word like ‘exercise’. This most recent trainwreck had her talking to a panel about sex, pop culture and kids, which is great since she’s such a perfect christian, right? She then proceeds to say that she’s so good at it because she’s been doing it for 2 months (I’m thinking its just been the 2 segments in 2 months) and because she took a journalism course in college. Um…ok. So anyway, while introducing the panel, she butchers the last girl’s name (she mistook Adria for Aria), and when trying to state her career says, ” – the, pshy, the pshych, the psycho and adol, um, pshychol and adolescent, um, psych..” when finally the woman jumps in and says ‘adolescent psychologist’, all while looking like she’s trying her hardest not to laugh. The first guy on the panel literally gets half a sentence out before Alexis jumps in with a whole different point than what he’s trying to make. She actually said “You turn on the radio and there’s all this love and feelings, and you know, children shouldn’t hear that yet. The 5 year old is gonna acquire that taste….you know…”

 

Each time someone else tried to talk after that, Alexis cut them off with plenty of other useless points, and at the end says she almost started crying because it was such a sensitive topic. I mean, I guess so, if you have 5 year old children and all they are hearing on the radio is ‘love and feelings’ you should probably be really frightened for their mental health. I’m surprised her youngins aren’t running around hugging people and expressing their love and feelings like the radio tells them to. By the way, does the OC play completely different things on the radio than they do here in NorCal? I’m racking by brain but can’t think of a song remotely that G rated. So later her man takes her to dinner and basically tells her that her working isn’t what he signed up for. From her prom/pageant dress line to now this totally important gig with Fox, the only result he’s seeing is she’s not the same slave he married. I don’t like that dude, and I don’t watch Fox so it doesn’t bother me either way, but I think she needs to listen to him, and just keep being a good little servant so her daughters have something to look up to.

 

Tamra. I can’t believe I’m about to admit this – but I’m starting to like her. Maybe it’s because she’s finally gotten over her severe jealousy of Gretchen, maybe it’s because she realizes that Vicki is a dramatic asshole or maybe it’s simply those funny one-liners she spits, but I’m not hating her anymore. Maybe that creepy dude Eddie actually makes her so happy that she realizes how childish her little grudges were. But she can’t become TOO mature or Bravo won’t keep her around for season 236. She’s really not doing much lately except being cool with Gretchen and hiding it from Vicki like some soap opera affair. She also decided to take her big ol’ fake boobs out and although its still not a major surgery, she wasn’t nearly as dramatic as Alexis was about her nose. Just sayin. She didn’t make it to the big bowling party because of her surgery, so there’s not much left to report on that front.

 

Gretchen..oh dear sweet Gretchen. I’ve loved her since day one, think she’s gorgeous and I’m fine with her makeup and purse line – but singing?? Yeah, she brought it up a couple times in seasons past, but this episode showed her at a vocal coach and my ears are still ringing. She’s blaming the errors on the fact that she screamed so hard at Vicki at that horrible hair/outfit party and hurt her voice, but I’ve heard professional singers sing while they have a cold that’s keeping them from breathing right and they still sound amazing, so that’s no excuse. I would like her to stick with being pretty and making her little items, because I’m already jealous that the UK produces singers like Adele, Jessie J, Joss Stone, etc and we will support anyone with a hot body and auto tune. *sigh*

 

Heather is awesome because she’s the only brunette and the only one with money (besides Vicki) but all she’s been doing since she got on the show is plan these parties. NEXT.

 

Vicki is still whining about her bullshit ‘love tank’, but apparently it’s multiplied because now she says ‘plural name has filled all my tankS’. What other tanks does this hag have?? Let me guess – love tank, insurance tank, overbearing tank, dish it but can’t take it tank, dramatic tank, I’m perfect so don’t call me out on my errors tank – never mind, this can go on forever. I’m still wondering why it’s OK that her plural name boyfriend went to jail for not paying child support, but Slade is the devil because of his problems with it. And Slade didn’t get put in jail either. When is someone finally going to point out the fact that Vicki is jealous that Slade bones all the housewives but has avoided her old intense ass? I won’t comment on her sick daughter, because the primary reason I’m not on this blog like I need to be is because I’m stuck in hospitals, so I just hope she is better and back to her normal life. Aww, see? I do have a little black heart in there under all the hate.

 

Is that man Peggy still on the show? Maybe she’ll come back after she gets the operation.

 

Well, with Teen Mom 2 over, and the OC wives approaching the end, I’ve decided to take on some new shows. I’ll ramble em off for you, and if there’s anything you want me to add, let me know. That’s not me saying ‘yes’, but I like suggestions anyway. ;)

- The Pauly D Project (yeah buddy!)

- Teen Mom (the OG’s when they finally come back)

-Don’t be Tardy for the Wedding

-Shannen Says – this one is a ‘maybe’. she annoys me so much that I don’t know if I wanna subject myself to it.

 

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