2 hours of Teen Mom 2. Gee, MTV, what did we do to deserve this? Its quite a lot listening to Leah say ‘geneticist’ for one episode, let alone 2. Well, let’s get into what happened, shall we??
Jenelle is always most fresh in my mind, since she is the most entertaining teen mom out of all of them. I really think MTV should throw Catelynn and Tyler off of Teen Mom since they don’t even have their kid, replace them with Jenelle, and that way I can stop watching Teen Mom 2 altogether. But that’s just a dream of mine. We start off with Jenelle itching to go see Kieffer. And yes, I used the word ‘itching’ purposefully. He’s homeless, so even in the rare case he DOESN’T have any STD’s…he’s still…homeless. Anyway. They start hanging out again, and both have an upcoming court date that they are preparing for. Jenelle could be locked up for about 8 months and is told she can no longer use her ‘herbal helper’, which she takes harder than the possible jail time. Luckily, on the day of court, they find it’s cancelled and rescheduled for 2 months down the line. All is well, until Kieffer finds some texts in Jenelle’s phone from her ex and gets all pissy about it. They break up, and soon Jenelle is legit bedridden, crying mostly because of Kieffer, but partly because she can’t smoke any weed to deal with it. Barb is begging Jenelle to watch Jace for a few minutes while she goes to pay a bill (which is the opportunity Jenelle whines about not having in all the other episodes), but Jenelle refuses and continues calling Kieffer phone, only to get sent straight to voicemail. I’m still wondering how he has a cell phone…So. Later Kieffer finally shows up at the house, Jenelle cries to him as if they’d been married for 15 years and they have a beautiful family that he’s just up and leaving. Kieffer leaves the house with Jenelle running after him in the street like a cheetah. Girl is crazy! And that’s why I love her.
Hmm. Who next? Let’s do Chelsea. The village idiot. Her story centers around dying her hair blonde (it comes out white), and having to move. Oh, and her friend Megan is pregnant. Someone needs to tell her she severely missed the 16 and Pregnant deadline, so there was really no point. There’s not much else to say – that really was the extent of her story. She dyed her hair, Adam likes it better brunette (I’m surprised she didn’t immediately color it back), and suddenly she felt like she did before she had Aubree. Intriguing. The owners of the house she lives in want to sell it, and her dad tells her she can find a new place for $700/mo. So of course she immediately finds a townhouse for $850/mo, but her dad doesn’t care, as long as Adam doesn’t move in. So Chelsea begs Adam to help her move, he is reluctant, this goes on for a good 7 minutes, with him basically telling he ‘maybe, but no’. Of course, daddy can’t say no to Chelsea, so he helps her move the stuff to the house, then leaves when Adam surprisingly shows up. The best part though (at least for me) is that Adam comes in, bitching the whole time about how tired he is from his job with air conditioners or whatever, and basically leaves her before ever bringing anything in the house. I loved seeing her sitting there with her new white hair and no one to help her move.
Kailyn. Oh Kailyn. I still haven’t figured out her face, nor the face of her baby daddy. They kinda scare me. But that’s besides the point. It’s Issac’s birthday, so they throw him a little party, and the next thing I know, Kailyn totaled her car and needs a new one, but has no money. Now, I know this show is supposed to portray how hard it is to be a teen mother, but I also know she got plenty of MTV money from season one, and could have definitely afforded to buy something other than the $300 green car she settled for. How ‘real’ are they supposed to make this look? Because in all realness – she has the money. Whatever. Kailyn gets frustrated in the end because although Joe has Issac on the weekends, he’s never there to actually take care of him, plus he’s not paying any child support. Which is weird considering his family seems well off, and he only has the kid 2 days a week. So Kailyn files for child support and instead of telling Joe up front, she leaves him a voicemail as shes leaving the court. Gee, that’s gonna go over great.
Leah. Oh Leah. Leah who’s story is weird to watch knowing she’s already pregnant again with some other guy’s kids (now there’s reports saying it’s another set of twins) and already engaged, not minding the fact that the ink is still wet on her first set of divorce papers. Nothing is really new here – they need to take the kid to the dr. This time, they get to see the geneticist (take a drink for every time she says geneticist during these tedious 2 hours and I PROMISE you’ll be feelin pretty sloppy drunk) and a physical therapist. The therapist just says ‘yeah, she might be able to walk, I guess’, and the other dr says she may have some life-threatening condition which scares them for 1 hour and 57 mins. The phone call at the end reveals that the kid is ok, but still may have some bone condition so more appointments are to come. Oh, and Leah bought home a stray cat.
Exciting stuff, no?