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Same old thing

So again, I find myself behind on my DVR and unfortunately really behind on the blog so we’re gonna play a game of catch up. The good thing is that I’m finding out all of these episodes of the Real Housewives of the OC are the same – a bunch of plastic women with wigs attempting to re-live high school and fight with each other for no real reason. It always starts with the new one (and the only one with real money) Heather, inviting everyone to some random shin dig. First it was painting and alcohol, then that 80’s thing, with alcohol and now bowling, with bottled water. No, kidding. With alcohol. Since we all know that these girls end up fighting every time (just like Bravo planned), I’m gonna comment on the girl’ individual antics. If you notice one of the wenches isn’t mentioned, that jut means she’s boring.

 

 

I simply must start with Alexis. This wench gets a nose job and acts as though she’s getting a hysterectomy and a double masectomy. I mean they had a prayer circle going on, she’s thinking she’s not gonna wake up from anesthesia, blah blah blah. She cries in the doctors office for the consult and is damn near inconsolable the day of. Her husband is looking at her like she’s even more dumb than he remembers, but still trying to calm her down. Honestly? I think she was more concerned with the cameras seeing her without makeup than anything else. Of course she hires a nurse to be at her house for recovery because goodness forbid her husband do anything, but she mostly just sleeps it off with frozen peas on her face. The best part is she gets mad at Gretchen for not immediately showing up to her house after the surgery. I don’t know what the point of that would have been…was Gretchen supposed to come tell her how good she looked? Because that would have been a lie. Or was she supposed to do stuff for her? Because I’m pretty sure I just mentioned the nurse Alexis had. Idiot.

 

I’m still not sure if she’s playing up a character for the cameras or if she is really SO delusional that she thinks she’s this amazingly smart working mom. I mean really, WTF is this gig she’s doing with Fox news?? I know they aren’t the greatest source of information unless you think a certain way, but after seeing the first ‘story’ she did about the shape of butts, I was surprised she was invited back. In her mind she’s such a natural, and she’s so great on camera, yet every other word out of her plastic lips is ‘uh’, or ‘what?’ or mispronouncing some word like ‘exercise’. This most recent trainwreck had her talking to a panel about sex, pop culture and kids, which is great since she’s such a perfect christian, right? She then proceeds to say that she’s so good at it because she’s been doing it for 2 months (I’m thinking its just been the 2 segments in 2 months) and because she took a journalism course in college. Um…ok. So anyway, while introducing the panel, she butchers the last girl’s name (she mistook Adria for Aria), and when trying to state her career says, ” – the, pshy, the pshych, the psycho and adol, um, pshychol and adolescent, um, psych..” when finally the woman jumps in and says ‘adolescent psychologist’, all while looking like she’s trying her hardest not to laugh. The first guy on the panel literally gets half a sentence out before Alexis jumps in with a whole different point than what he’s trying to make. She actually said “You turn on the radio and there’s all this love and feelings, and you know, children shouldn’t hear that yet. The 5 year old is gonna acquire that taste….you know…”

 

Each time someone else tried to talk after that, Alexis cut them off with plenty of other useless points, and at the end says she almost started crying because it was such a sensitive topic. I mean, I guess so, if you have 5 year old children and all they are hearing on the radio is ‘love and feelings’ you should probably be really frightened for their mental health. I’m surprised her youngins aren’t running around hugging people and expressing their love and feelings like the radio tells them to. By the way, does the OC play completely different things on the radio than they do here in NorCal? I’m racking by brain but can’t think of a song remotely that G rated. So later her man takes her to dinner and basically tells her that her working isn’t what he signed up for. From her prom/pageant dress line to now this totally important gig with Fox, the only result he’s seeing is she’s not the same slave he married. I don’t like that dude, and I don’t watch Fox so it doesn’t bother me either way, but I think she needs to listen to him, and just keep being a good little servant so her daughters have something to look up to.

 

Tamra. I can’t believe I’m about to admit this – but I’m starting to like her. Maybe it’s because she’s finally gotten over her severe jealousy of Gretchen, maybe it’s because she realizes that Vicki is a dramatic asshole or maybe it’s simply those funny one-liners she spits, but I’m not hating her anymore. Maybe that creepy dude Eddie actually makes her so happy that she realizes how childish her little grudges were. But she can’t become TOO mature or Bravo won’t keep her around for season 236. She’s really not doing much lately except being cool with Gretchen and hiding it from Vicki like some soap opera affair. She also decided to take her big ol’ fake boobs out and although its still not a major surgery, she wasn’t nearly as dramatic as Alexis was about her nose. Just sayin. She didn’t make it to the big bowling party because of her surgery, so there’s not much left to report on that front.

 

Gretchen..oh dear sweet Gretchen. I’ve loved her since day one, think she’s gorgeous and I’m fine with her makeup and purse line – but singing?? Yeah, she brought it up a couple times in seasons past, but this episode showed her at a vocal coach and my ears are still ringing. She’s blaming the errors on the fact that she screamed so hard at Vicki at that horrible hair/outfit party and hurt her voice, but I’ve heard professional singers sing while they have a cold that’s keeping them from breathing right and they still sound amazing, so that’s no excuse. I would like her to stick with being pretty and making her little items, because I’m already jealous that the UK produces singers like Adele, Jessie J, Joss Stone, etc and we will support anyone with a hot body and auto tune. *sigh*

 

Heather is awesome because she’s the only brunette and the only one with money (besides Vicki) but all she’s been doing since she got on the show is plan these parties. NEXT.

 

Vicki is still whining about her bullshit ‘love tank’, but apparently it’s multiplied because now she says ‘plural name has filled all my tankS’. What other tanks does this hag have?? Let me guess – love tank, insurance tank, overbearing tank, dish it but can’t take it tank, dramatic tank, I’m perfect so don’t call me out on my errors tank – never mind, this can go on forever. I’m still wondering why it’s OK that her plural name boyfriend went to jail for not paying child support, but Slade is the devil because of his problems with it. And Slade didn’t get put in jail either. When is someone finally going to point out the fact that Vicki is jealous that Slade bones all the housewives but has avoided her old intense ass? I won’t comment on her sick daughter, because the primary reason I’m not on this blog like I need to be is because I’m stuck in hospitals, so I just hope she is better and back to her normal life. Aww, see? I do have a little black heart in there under all the hate.

 

Is that man Peggy still on the show? Maybe she’ll come back after she gets the operation.

 

Well, with Teen Mom 2 over, and the OC wives approaching the end, I’ve decided to take on some new shows. I’ll ramble em off for you, and if there’s anything you want me to add, let me know. That’s not me saying ‘yes’, but I like suggestions anyway. 😉

– The Pauly D Project (yeah buddy!)

– Teen Mom (the OG’s when they finally come back)

-Don’t be Tardy for the Wedding

-Shannen Says – this one is a ‘maybe’. she annoys me so much that I don’t know if I wanna subject myself to it.

 

Gallery

I can’t wait for season 5 of Sons of Anarchy. Here’s a pic of the president to tie me over until then.

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Jessie J. a hot commodity to Simon Cowell

This post is especially for our contributor Niki, who loves Jessie J. more than life itself. 🙂

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Reunited and it feels so good…

OK, so I’m late, AND I’m doing this off memory, so bear with me. Or stop reading. Your choice. But keep reading.

Teen Mom 2 has come to its season finale/reunions. Side note – does anyone remember when reunion shows were just ONE show that recapped the season?? Now we have MTV, VH1 and Bravo especially doing 3 and 4 part reunions. I find it tedious, is it just me?  Well, I have finally seen both the reunion shows, I’m gonna speak my piece.

I used to start with Jenelle because she was freshest on my mind and always had the best story (aka sleeping with homeless men and physically assulting her mother) and was my only reason for even watching this group of bozos. But as she sat there on the couch, a glassy look in her eyes as she responded to Dr. Drew’s obnoxious and repetitive questions with the utmost sense of calm, I lost all respect I had for her. Who is she to grow up and get her life together, dammit?!? Why now?? OK, there’s the idea of being a good mom and getting a good education, but she started early, she has plenty of time to make replacement kids and do it right – I don’t think its polite to do that while under contract to provide me with good TV. Anyway, she’s been to rehab and she was most scared of not having her electronics and giving up the old wacky tabacky. She had a brief relapse, but sadly is still clean (at least as of the reunion). I got excited to see hints of my dear Jenelle came out when Barb sashayed in in her Sunday best, ready to flirt with Dr. Drew because she’s newly single. But even Barb nagging her and laughing/snorting at her didn’t make her flip. She was even able to name 3 things that made Barb a good mom, and didn’t get mad when Barb took an extra few seconds to try to complete her list. As this boring snoozefest moves on, we learn that she is currently single, so that is my last hope. I’m traveling to North Carolina in a few days and my mission is to get on the freeway until I find Kieffer’s camp, ask him to smell his green sweater, then reunite him with Jenelle and her season 2 paycheck. You’ll thank me when season 3 comes around…One thing I wish they showed more of was a glimpse into Barb’s single life. Follow her around the town one night. Tape her riding the mechanical bull that I’m sure is standard in every restaurant/bar out there, and let us see how she gets those men hooked. We can all learn from Barb.

Let’s get the crybaby white-haired one out of the way now. Leah is acting remorseful about her divorce (knowing good and well her new man was sitting backstage waiting for her), crying to Drew like it was some long, happy marriage. She expected Cory to just go to counseling and forget the fact that she spreads her legs every time another man gives her a compliment. I actually think she bleaches her hair each time she cheats – trying to wash that whore scent off of every last inch of her. And what’s up with the rounded-out poofy hairdo she fancies so much? It’s like her white hair forms a perfect circle around her head, framing her pumpkin orange face like a halo. I dunno. Maybe that’s what the fashions are like in trailer town. Cory (Jesusgod, Leah!) is still pissed, as he rightfully should be, and basically snarls at her and shrugs off most of what everyone is saying. I’m glad he finally sees her for the liar she is, and I actually think he’s one of the best, if not THE best dads on the series. He might be tied with Derek (Sophia’s dad), but Derek…oh yeah. Nevermind. Pretend I didn’t just insensitively write that. Their parents come on stage, and the show continues to be boring. They are fine sharing the twins, but that’s the only time they see each other. Waaah, waaah waah. I can’t wait til shes 23 with 5 kids and reminiscing about the good old days when she had a hardworking husband she could cheat on. Jesusgod, Leah! Get yourself together, and dye your hair brunette – pronto!

Now we will take a walk on the wild side and explore our animal-esque characters, otherwise known as Kailyn and Jo. Kailyn looks different, and it took a friend pointing it out for me to notice that she actually appears to have bathed! Like that one episode where she knew she was meeting up with Jo so she decided to take off her black baseball cap and try out some bangs, most likely to balance out the whiskers on her cheeks. She bluntly admits that her first choice of a mate would be the equally beastly, ever-so-skilled rapper, Jo, BUT she wants to keep Jordan on the side in case Jo says no. They admit to having primal sex, and the whole time, Kailyn is arguing that Jordan doesn’t understand how hard it is on HER. Yeah, that makes sense. It’s so hard being a cheater and having your mate get upset with you. They have no right! They simply need to sit there and be available for when they’re needed. You would think Jordan would have some ounce of backbone, considering he’s 9 feet tall, but he’s ready and willing to forgive Kailyn, even though he knows Jo is her first choice. I don’t blame her though. Jo has immense flow and like, 3 groupies – he’s livin the life. Who wouldn’t wanna be a part of that? Hell, I think Jordan might wanna trade Kailyn in for Jo himself. Jo wants to do that old school ‘cough-sneeze’ to let everyone know that they did sex many more times than the show featured (but I think you can catch it on Animal Planet or National Geographic), so she casually brings up the STD that she passed to Jordan, assuming it came from Jo. Now I used to think she actually was faithful because all she ever has is her boyfriends family since her mom is such a weirdo, but she’s actually had a few boyfriends since Jordan as well. Never judge an animal by their fur.

Ah Chelsea. I would say she has bricks for brains, but hell, she doesn’t even have enough up there to compile a single brick. She’s still drooling over Adam and his over sized tank tops every time he shows her the slightest bit of attention (aka he’s horny and knows she’s a sure bet). And we learn they are kinda together but not really? I don’t know, and frankly I don’t care. They both got whiny about how they sleep with each others best friends to make each other mad, then just end up back together. I’m telling you guys, Adam comes around when the cameras are rolling so he can try to claim some of her paycheck, which I’m sure she gladly hands over to him before pleasuring him. I would rather Megan take her place next season, I need a damn brunette back in the cast. Plus, I can’t stand the way every sentence Chelsea speaks comes out as a question with an upward inflection at the end. Nor can I her her say ‘But…I love him. Love. Him. I just love him. My heart was like, this much hurt, now its, like, less hurt…’ you get the point. And if you don’t, just consider yourself lucky.

Well now that these whores are done for a while, I can’t wait to get back to the OG’s! But I wonder what they’re going to do since Amber officially ended her contract. It would be awesome to see her mugshot in those pics they do in the opening credits though. And Maci is single! Maybe she will come to her senses and get back with that sexy baby daddy of hers, and let that albino bulldog be free to roam creatures more his kind, such as Kailyn…Let me see you come up with a better match than that, Millionaire Matchmaker lady! Ha.

Break out the peroxide, it’s time for the OC Housewives!!

I have been saying I would stop watching this show for every season after Jeanna left..but here we are, season 35 and I’m hooked yet again. We are a couple episodes in, and already the ridiculous problems have begun. Tamra (aka Vicki’s puppy) made up with Gretchen, but is scared to tell Vicki because the last thing she wants to do is upset her. I guess, I mean, when you’re in your fifties, you should totally hold pointless grudges against younger, prettier women. Tamra even had some bracelet specially made for Gretchen that symbolizes something like new beginnings or whatever. I’m glad she got over her jealousy (come on, you know that’s the only reason she hated Gretchen) and I hope she meant it. Vicki is selling her house and decides the proper thing to do is throw a party for everyone. By ‘proper thing’, I mean the first situation Bravo can throw all the ladies into a group setting for filming and hope fighting goes down. Don is still living with her, and she’s now dating some dude with a plural name. Alexis is still mad at that dude Peggy for having some random hookup with her creepy boyfriend 40 years ago, but they both freak me out so I’m rooting for no one in that situation. Tamra meets Heather, who is actually rich (remember when they ALL were rich??) and thankfully, brunette. I like Heather thus far, she’s pretty, kinda funny and crazy rich! Slade is still Gretchen’s bitch, doing whatever he can to stay relevant on this show. I like him as her bitch, but I miss the days when he was rich and basically owned Jo.

So more recently, Tamra and her creepy man Eddie are on a trip with Vicki and her plural named man, and at first, they all get along just peachy. But Vicki and Eddie start getting along too well, and as the alcohol flows, they get quite touchy-feely. Tamra’s face doesn’t move enough to show it, but she’s really upset and lashes out by grabbing Vicki’s man’s hand and placing it on her plastic boob. This in turn pisses Eddie off, and they basically fight for the rest of the episode and into the new one. Tamra declares that Vicki and Eddie are her best friends and they have no business ‘touching each other’, and proceeds to get angry again when they attempt to hi-five. I mean, I guess I can understand why Tamra is jealous – Eddie clearly has an attraction to old fried haired blondes, so it’s a legit concern that he would go after Vicki. Disgusting, but legit.

Vicki’s party obviously didn’t satisfy Bravo, because now we have Heather planning some painting shin-dig. They’re really trying to make this Alexis-Peggy crap interesting, and I don’t like it. Alexis has annoyed me from day one, and of all the creepy dudes on this show, her man is by FAR the worst. And her ‘Alexis Couture’ dress line should be banned to the pageant world. But then again, I do like some of those Toddlers with their Tiaras and that’s just cruel to ask them to adorn those ‘fashions’. Anyway…at this painting party, it comes out that Gretchen and Tamra visited a sex shop together, and Vicki is instantly jealous. As they start to describe their purchases, Heather gets a little snobby and says that she doesn’t speak of things that happen in her bedroom. She then goes on to talk about being a great actress and part of a 14 piece band and some other pointless crap. Her husband shows up and starts joking with the ladies about their marriage and lack of sex, which sets Heather off – she runs to the wine and chugs down a bottle quick, then comes back to throw some jabs of her own. I like her, but I’m starting to see that she’s taking herself a little too seriously…

Back to jealous Vicki – this actually made me laugh out loud. Tamra mentions that she likes Gretchen’s hair (she’s wearing it in a ponytail) and Vicki’s eyes get HUGE in disbelief. She makes some petty remark about Tamra and Gretchen calling each other before the party and planning ponytails (since Tamra has gathered her weave into a side ponytail) and Tamra tries to backtrack by saying she likes Vicki’s hair too. But Vicki is now keeping score in her immature head – noting their trip to the porn store and now Tamra giving Gretchen GASP – a compliment! What a bad friend she is, to decide she’s done with being mad at Gretchen. The boiling point, though is the most laughable. Tamra asks Alexis to take a picture of her and Gretchen, and Vicki is watching in complete horror. But when Heather is handing out the paintings everyone did and Tamra says she thinks Gretchen’s painting is the best, Vicki snaps! She goes off about everything she heard/saw this evening and calls them ‘best friends’ in a mocking tone. Her plural boyfriend shows up to take her home, and as she’s leaving she hugs everyone, including Gretchen, but purposefully doesn’t hug Tamra, nor does she say goodbye to her. My GOODNESS!!! It’s like I’m watching Laguna Beach instead of a 50 year old woman. I just…don’t…get it.

We end on Gretchen reveling she found some info about Vicki’s plural boyfriend that indicates he doesn’t pay child support and is a deadbeat dad. Funny, didn’t Vicki have awful things to say about Slade for that very same reason last season? Ha, that rhymed. Slade is legitimately pissed and warns Gretchen about continuing to associate herself with these ‘women’. I agree, Gretchen is far too good to be a part of that nonsense, but Bravo won’t have it any other way.

I can’t wait for next week to see Slade’s ‘comedy’ routine…stay tuned!

Catching Up on Jersday

I have sooo not been motivated to watch this show, which is a phrase I never thought I’d say. So I’ll be recapping the last few episodes in this one post.

Vinny leaves the house because he wants his mommy, and the kids are legit acting like he died. Deena is crying hysterically saying Vinny is her ‘soul’ and she doesn’t know what to do without him. JWoww basically has to babysit her at the club, and with the magic of alcohol, everyone seems to forget about Vinny pretty quickly. Mike and Pauly both bring random girls home, they all smush, and Deena spends the night on the roof with JWoww crying about Vinny. Fun, yeah? You see why I’m so far behind on this show now?  Um, the ‘Meatballs’ go somewhere and get crazy-can’t walk-drunk and by the end of the night, Deena’s wave is a big tangled rat’s nest that takes half the roommates to straighten out. The only funny thing to happen is Pauly found this older girl with tattoos who he says is Vinny’s type and declares that he will smush her in Vinny’s honor, in Vinny’s bed. Gotta love that guy. He’s 50% the reason I watch the show, JWoww being the other 50.

Let’s see…some Bosnian chick is first shown flirting with Mike, but comes home with Pauly on his birthday. When she refuses to go to bed with him, Pauly immediately calls her a cab. She walks out, but comes right back in saying she’s not ready to leave, and now wants to be with Mike. Mike though, has Paula in his room (chick from season one that banged him in the hot tub and then fell down the stairs) and he’s keeping the Bosnian chick outside, trying to get rid of her. This feels so familiar, I’m certain every season Mike and Pauly have had 2 girls in the house and had to decide who to ditch and who to smush. Oh, these $100,000/episode problems. Such a pity. The rest of the time focuses on Mike and Pauly’s birthday. They are supposed to be celebrating together, but the focus is all on Pauly. His whole family comes, he gets his beloved hair cut, they have a dinner, and the roommates even make him a cake. Everyone ignores Mike, though, and he ends up pouting and storming out. Highlight of this portion – again, Pauly. When he got his hair cut, he was in a black cape, wet curls hanging down over his face with Snooki’s hair clips holding the hair up in sections, and he looks like the happiest guido on earth.

Mr. Boss Man Danny wants to replace Vinny, and everyone protests, he does some random interviews that never really lead to anything. So they finally get the idea to all roll out to Staten Island bring Vinny back home, but not before going to the t-shirt shop to make shirts in his honor. Vinny’s new exciting news is he got a new tattoo across his chest. Awesome. If you haven’t yet realized, I have actually covered 3 episodes up to this point, which is a shame. I’m leaving out the stupid little things that happen, like Snooki and Deena getting bunny costumes and trying to scare people, and Sam fighting some chick in the club that snatched at her precious extensions. Mike is starting to act like a crazy female, and feels like everyone is talking shit behind his back. He’s being incredibly nice to everyone, but what ends up setting him off is Ronnie telling him it feels like he’s a terrorist plotting to blow up the house. He actually runs around the deck with his man parts hanging out of his shorts, yelling about how nice he’s been and that everyone talks about him no matter what he does so he’s just gonna go back to being a little bitch. Good, I prefer that.

Snooki’s big problem is her UTI, which she has no problem broadcasting to everyone at the club after she pissed herself on the dance floor. She covers it up by running to the bathroom and spraying perfume all over her crotch, then gets back to dancing like nothing happened. I don’t even wanna imagine the scent in that house. Axe cologne, pickles, cigarettes, marinara sauce, fried weave and desperation to figure out what the hell they’re gonna do when they realize they don’t have legit careers outside the show. We end this one with JWoww trying to get in touch with Roger, but for some reason he’s avoiding her. Mike happens to see him on the beach and immediately tells Jenni, who gets pissed. Next week doesn’t look to good for them, and I don’t like that. I wouldn’t f*ck with Jenni, I still have that image of her, drunk as hell, with her back to Mike, and whipping around with a punch that connected directly to his jaw without even looking at him. I couldn’t do that completely sober with years of boxing training. She is a beast, and I love her. Roger, don’t f*ck this up!

If you were bored reading this, I apologize, I was bored watching it. I thought we were in for a good season, especially it being the last one, but it just seems tired now. I’m holding out hope, though that it WILL pick up, and soon! Fingers crossed…

Teen Mom 2 Recap

I wish they would stop pitching this show as young women facing the hardships and realities of being a teen mom. The only true words in that sentence are ‘young’ and ‘teen’. Women? It’s a stretch. And I’m not only referring to their miniscule levels of maturity. Really – they have new hairstyles every week, they take breaks from their ‘jobs’  just to relax, and are constantly being whisked away on all-expenses-paid trips to LA and NY for MTV promotions. If that’s the life of a teen mom, I’m going to whore my daughters out starting at the age of 15. And I’ll make sure to have 4 daughters so I can make a whole season of Teen Mom by myself. I’ll have the responsible one (Maci), the idiot (Farrah/Chelsea), the one who gave up/useless and boring story (Catelynn/Kailyn) and the badass (Jenelle/Amber). Super excited!!

OK, I’ll save the worst for first – Leah must be trying to catch up to Chelsea and Farrah in the stupidity department, because she gets a letter from the doctor that she has some interesting trouble with. First, she can’t pronounce half the words on the letter, and when she attempts to Google the things she doesn’t understand, she can’t seem to type them in either. She decides to call the doctor the next day and have them explain word-for-word what’s going on. The news is pretty much the same as it was last time – the kid doesn’t have anything fatal that they can prove right now, and she’s too young to continue testing. She has to come back in a year, and in the meantime, keep working with that gem of a physical therapist and the leg braces. I guess MTV needed some filler minutes because Leah and Corey basically meet up outside to discuss the letter AGAIN, and reinforce the fact that they’re gonna be strong for the kid. I really hope that Leah understands that her hair needs to be strong to continue doing these awful bleach jobs to it so she can have the powder white hair she truly desires.

Before I forget about this boring story altogether, I’ll get to Kailyn. All she wants is some confirmation that filing for child support against her beastly baby daddy was the right thing to do, because she knows eventually she will have to talk to him face to face about that courageous voicemail she left him after the fact. Her ‘friends’ all say it was the right thing to do, so she finally sets up  a meeting with Joe – but not before getting a new hair cut/color for him. Did I say ‘for him’? Surely I don’t mean that. It’s just that I’ve sen her in that black hat for a few weeks now, and suddenly when she has a sit down meal set up with Joe, she’s taking some concern with her appearance. Anyway…at the dinner, Kailyn is rude, Joe is rude and they really get nowhere. He thinks the $500/mo is way too expensive, despite the fact that the only bills he pays are for his car insurance/loan and cell phone. She’s trying to convince him otherwise, and for like a minute straight, starts every sentence she says by flipping her new hair out of her eye and saying,”IF we were together…”, which he quickly rebuts – “But we’re NOT.” to each time. I swear there’s an undertone of flirting with them and I say they just smush and get it over with.

Chelsea. The person who makes me feel dumber just for writing about her. She’s happy about this job she gets at The Brown Dog or something. I laughed at her getting applications because I figured w/o a high school diploma, she’d have some trouble getting a job, but I was wrong – apparently that’s not a huge requirement where Chelsea is from. Someone tell Amber Portwood! She’s gonna need to get her life on track after she gets out of jail. So, Chelsea is calling everyone telling them about her sweet job, and no one really cares. She expects Adam to do backflips and propose on the spot, but settles for him coming over to stay the night. You know, Adam is an asshole, there’s no disputing that. But hell, this far into the relationship, he knows what he can get away with, and as long as she’s gonna let him, I say he should continue to get his! But there’s no gain without pain, as he finds out when Chelsea immediately begins to pick a fight with him as soon as he gets there. She then asks why he even came, and he points out that she asked him to come, and calls her ‘stupid as hell’ for even asking that. That for me was a true moment of happiness. Her family/friend will never call her on her stupidity, so I’m glad we have Adam to save the day. Some nights later, she ends up bitching to her friend about the night with Adam and says she feels dumb because she always tells people it’s going to be different and it never is. She needs to start listening to those around her – after all, they have high school diplomas.

Sweet Jenelle. The pleasant, charming, reliable yet often misunderstood Jenelle. She’s frustrated as ever because her mom is always on her about something, she misses Kieffer, and she can’t smoke. So she decides to change what she can and sparks up a doobie (bonus points if you can name the awesome movie that phrase is from). But today must be her lucky day, because later that day, she has an old friend telling her she needs a roommate ASAP. Jenelle jumps at the chance, but is wary of how Barbara will react. But low and behold, Barbara is just as excited (if not more so) than Jenelle, and just wants to confirm that Jenelle will still come around at least once a week to see Jace. The only other question from Barb is – “So, you movin’ today?!?” And of course, through the magic of television, today is indeed moving day. While packing up her room, Jenelle’s friend finds a note from Kieffer (ok wait – he’s got a cell phone, FaceBook AND can write? I’m slowly starting to see why she fell for him) talking about how perfect they are for each other and blah blah blah. She tears it up and I’m shocked because that would indicate growth from her. But the very next day, Kieffer sends Jenelle a FB message whining about how much he loves her, and how he can change and that they absolutely need to be together. She agrees to meet up with him, and they decide they are ‘talking and working things out.’ They seal it with a kiss, which really can’t be that tasty, seeing as he is STILL wearing his trusty green hoodie. Didn’t he have more clothes last year? And shouldn’t he have more now since Jenelle is making the Teen Mom money? And don’t say anything about that being HER money – the checks may be written to her, but Kieffer is getting all the advantage. He’s such a good man.

Hasta next time… 😉